<>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Garbage out. He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. You know, say, boy, he really . Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. Your email address will not be published. Schedule . Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. But hey, I guess it's just part of my glamorous jet-setting lifestyle.'. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? Pfft! And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Press J to jump to the feed. And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! 193 0 obj Everybody says they suck. Your vote is what determines the direction this Great Ship America will turn. We don't need that many. Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. They want obedient workers. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. I dont vote. Add in a bit of effective protest and it might even turn a bit faster.). He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. Theyll get it. A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Fuck hope! Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. I do not own this video. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. And theyre elected by American citizens. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! From Life Is Worth Losing. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. That's a friend. They're your followers. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. We're so obsessed with ourselves and our own little worlds that we can't even have a real conversation or a meaningful interaction with someone without checking our phones every five minutes. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. They should be earned. m o n t c l a i r . So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. Web. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. of American cultural paradoxes. Well where do people think these politicians come from? I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. 190 0 obj There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? Everybody says they suck. e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> A lot of that goes on: QUESTION:SENATOR, HAVE YOU SOLVED THAT PROBLEM?POLITICIAN:WELL, WE'RE MOVING FORWARD ON THAT. 183 0 obj It will be a lot of fun. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . Everybody says they suck. And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). 187 0 obj They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? Tired of that shit. 0000002803 00000 n But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. stream George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Unless we think of some way to fight back. Everyone experiences pain, of course. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. That doesnt help them. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. Not affiliated with OpenAI. It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. But the POLITICIANS, god bless them or something like that, they're are at their most entertaining when they're are in trouble. FUCK THEM. Are these fucking people kidding me? You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. They don't pass through a membrane from "another reality". Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. This is what we have to offer. From his 1992 (first ever LIVE) HBO TV special "Jammin' in New York", performed in from of 6,500 people at Madison Square Gardens. First of all, its meaningless. 191 0 obj "George Carlin" Scripts.com. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. endobj Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. What? POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. "Forget the politicians. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. This is what we have to offer. Carlin is funny as hell. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. endobj To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. Its almost a poetic rap. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. They own you. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. You don't. You have no choice. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. 124 Copy quote. The table has tilted folks. What a great idea. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. They want obedient workers. 4 Mar. So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. Everybody complains about politicians. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. Sure, here's a possible transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Let's talk about social media. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Everybody's going to save something now. [wptabtitle]@Shoq[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=feed id=323150247956193281][/wptabcontent] Nobody cares. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Thats what the owners count on. 0000003180 00000 n Carlin is usually spot on. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. CHALLENGES! They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Thats right. But, he is wrong here. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. Enjoyed this speech? You know what they're interested in? 0000082419 00000 n George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. "We're so self-important. Just a thought.". ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Religion. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." MISTAKES WERE MADE, DON'T LOOK AT ME, PROBABLY SOMEONE IN MY OFFICE. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. everybody complains about politicians. You wanna know what a friend is? 0000001596 00000 n << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> @Z(dXSm !4I Two is all you need, folks. And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. Then youre just what theyre looking for. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). Several reasons. Maybe two hundred thousand? They got you by the balls. Two reasons. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Theres a reason. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. And let's not forget about YouTube. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. 0000001936 00000 n Updated on May 30, 2018. Such a nice touch. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. It's clearly a padded list. Read it first. %%EOF Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Not on some social media platform where everyone's shouting into the void.". Quick Guide. _S@bZ&j{|pQGB0qw_rm+eUr!:J9d j9mLJRL Q3PUn\#MuRJ\ *B6B6x . Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. These people on social media, they're not your friends. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. I have my ideas. Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. 0000004120 00000 n They don't get any real human contact. Fuck em! Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. Another favorite distortion is Public Service. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. Garbage ingarbage out. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. People like to twist that around. [/wptabs]. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or .
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