I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. It may not display this or other websites correctly. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. 5. 16. 25. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. Hosted by Pressable. . 8. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. . Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. 3. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. Who determines the meaning of words? Oh, thank you, friend. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. 16. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. 1. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. First, there's physical attraction. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. And Im so ashamed of you. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Thanks. 0. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. It's nothing bad or unusual. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. "How I do love you!" Basically, its an ambiguous expression. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? I wouldnt get anxious about it. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. You would have to know the whole story. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Talents Compliments. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Did I do anything extraordinary? Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. And thats enough for me. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! #8: They say you need to change. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. implying a mentor relationship. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images I again said. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. 2. You know that I'm bound to see you. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? Thank you. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. "I know how you feel". February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. 2. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. 3. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Look him in the eyes and smile. The words hit me like a . How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Its very presumptuous. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. And Ill encourage them to be proud. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. 3. 12. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. I believe you. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Well, that truly makes my day. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. 2. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. Dear! Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. She and I are both married. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. Lost Index. It does not take it away from them. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Future Planet. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. 1. 7. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . 1. You could feel annoyed and put out. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? 2. . Yea, Thank you is not the only response. "I wish I had met you. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. "Be proud of your scars. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. 9. 11. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. However what messages might our children actually hear? They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? The rest were manual labourers. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". 2. In what context? Oh.. very good. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. Tell Them You Care. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. JavaScript is disabled. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors.
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