Ice cream trucks! And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. I'm back. He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. That doesn't make any senseyou can't BE something abstractcan you? Big Brother may be listening right now so I beter go. I'm already half way there, since I conclusivly proved (in Physics class) that gravity actually causes things to slow down and EVENTUALLY GO UP! Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. I gotta go. Here's what I wrote this weekend: Woooooo! But that is irrelevant. Aren't I special? Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Which is why it's not even 10:00 and here I am, typing. We KNEW how terrible it was, but we just didn't bother to change it. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. Where is the logic in this? I love-d you moose! Air pressure. Isn't vast a funny word? It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? I few months ago I saw a movie about that. When I related this story to my friends (including "Meg") they thought it was hilarious. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. Maybe you're lost. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). . You feel very, very honored. We're not sure. I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. And one out of a million people would probably have a few sentences. She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! Thank you Squirell. I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. That's just silly. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" I think. And not so pissed at my weird family. She's my little puppyshe fears grape flavored stuff, wind, rain, television, noise, silence, small children and pretty much everything. Then, some fasion bimbo went on a fasionable safarii to get some fasionable furs, or whatever. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. Especially that duct tape. I can usually fall back asleep (if I don't panic and think I'm late for school), but the stupid thing wakes me up again exactly seven hours after I originally fell asleep. Uhdon't think soNumber Four: I could have learned to drive. What values, you say? Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. Gee, I hope not! He then leaves them under his owners car. It's like this. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. They just like how I know lots of pointless laws and random facts. I don't mean to insult you if you DO have a tan. So. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. WAIT JUST A POLYP PICKING MINUTE!! No one is really coming here, anyway. Goodbye for nowNow I'm back. May your day be shiney! Fire is my frienduntil it burns me. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. Either way, he got assasinated. But I can't think of anything to write about. Because eventually, I'll be back! I founded the secret message, you ok man? When is it MYturn? CHEESE!!! The notag. Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. A profound statement, if I ever heard one. My entire family is weird. Oh, and I would like to mention to my *snicker* LOYAL fans that this Longest Text Ever DOES get updated at least once a week, so please, please, please, PLEASE do not read this once, in one sitting and then leave forever, and ever and ever! Okayon to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. Right now, while you are sitting in your "chair" and eating your "junk food", millions of almonds are commiting suicide. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. There are now longer sentences in . I'm back. Emma Taggart is a Contributing Writer at My Modern Met. thats iti so tiredbye-bye. When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad Hatter Day on October the 6th. We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. TACO will eventually destroy him. I rule the Internet! Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? i like sugar. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. At the same time, how can you prove something IS infinite? I'M FINE! My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. And really angry, and confused. My mother is a control freak, and she decided on the spur of the moment that we were going north to visit relatives. Maybe fact check before coming up with such blatant lies. First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). *enter Squirell* What's that, little Squirell? maybe the longest text ever. And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! Longest math problem copy and paste According to Sciencealert, the longest math equation contains around 200 terabytes of text. Maybe they're here right now! What do you think, Hypothetical Reader? Do not MOCK me! Are you ready? | 13.63 KB, JSON | Because I have nothing else to do right now. To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. But I couldn't have sung it 'cause it would have woken everyone up and they would have called me inconsiderate. She also is the goddess of red jello. Don't Ignore Sites? I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! 8 min ago Seeya! The answer is still infinity. The 2.4 million words sentence is published in four volumes of Nigel Tomm's novel 'The Blah Story' (i.e., volumes 16, 17, 18 and 19). For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! I pity them, I really do. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. Needless to say, I felt right at home. But, for a time, Faulkner took the run-on as far as it could go. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? Obviously not. Introduction In the business world, communication by e-mail is indispensable. OkayI admit it. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Soit doesn't bother to find all solutions, and it may be wrong. I better go. Hmmmmmhas any old, senile person ever written anything? They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. There are not going to be conspiraciesor humor of any kind. I forgot it's name. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. Oooooo! It was fairly fun. I highly recommend you see the movie yourself. Or, at the very least, not label it as "pure". I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. Too bad. Hmmmmmaybe my condition is worsening. That's how I knew it's name, picture and what it did. I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. HA! I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). well never know but oh crap its starting to snow and its time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now its gone, farewell so long Ill miss you as long as you write but then Im afraid to say good-night. It'll be ready soon, ain't it great? Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. I tried to explain. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. We can all wear spiffy space-suits and feel all superiour to all those stupid earthlings. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. The huge run-on sentence consists of 1,288 words and countless clauses. Today's rant is a panic rant. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. It does all my Math for me. Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioningthat's not goodI have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. *gagged reader glares* What's that? A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! Right now. I worked sorta hard on this. NowI'm gonna go and worry about the light on my toaster ovenseeya! Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimerEh-hem. Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? You didn't run screaming to another site, thankfull for the chance to escape this insanity. In other wordsthey hurt. I have three very hard academic classes. MOOOO! After all, look how long this text is. And hotand smoky. The events of Neo's dream unfold. I know a topic! Fortunatly, my mom recently finnaly switched our snack food preference. Anyway, gotta go! Is this writer's block?! Is that old lady on the street corner really an ex-convict? I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Did you find it? Who would have thought I have this much free time? And why do I even care? That's talent. Sign Up , it unlocks many cool features! Which is what I'm about to do. I sure am. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. But I probably will eventually get around to having a seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK. If I had 500np with me, I'd be at-500. were stuck in here, (alone my dear) and well problem never get out so dont start to shout. Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. It's just weird. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. No one I know is that obsessed with earrings, it was just an example. Oh, well. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." MOstly donut cake. That's the sixth time I've said back! You wanna try to convince me I'M crazy? Keep pressing it. RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! Wellbetter go before one of my two and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. (may the moose be with you) And now I am back. To Cheese Nips. We need to act now! Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. That's right, folks. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. *yet another highly dramatic, time-consuming sigh* I need a topic. We never spam. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) That dirty little rat. You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. Try it. It makes me sad*sniffle* WellI feel better now. Why do I have to work year round? I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! I'm backand it's several hours later. OkayI'm back. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. And most people don't even come here. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. I'm baaaaa-ack! No? Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. What has the world come to? Lots of gooey talent. According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! You know the one. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I would be. You want me to stay. You KNOW I ran out of imaginary money last week when I bought that imaginary country. I'm back. I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Let's see: 12345! OR, maybe it's the writing. 17 min ago Yeah. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? Not only that, but how do you know that YOU actually exist? (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. Sentences can also be extended by recursively embedding clauses one into another, such as[2][3], This also highlights the difference between linguistic performance and linguistic competence, because the language can support more variation than can reasonably be created or recorded. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkners 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! I have readers. Wellprepare to be enlightened. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. Seeya. That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). A complete and total degregation of our societies values. The world's longest non-life sentence, according to the "Guinness Book of Records", was imposed on Thai pyramid scheme fraudster Chamoy Thipyaso, who was jailed for 141,078 years in 1989. I wonder why anyone would read this? And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) SoNeo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. I have once again caused that explody sensation in your brain meats! Nowadays, postmodern fiction writers such as John Barth are still influenced by Faulkners run-on technique. Longest Word in English (189,819 Letters) a guest . It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. :) Seeya! I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. What's really fun is to translate an English saying, like out of sight, out of mind. You can just picture sterotypical pirates saying, "A vast ye mateys!". What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? It's strange. I've done what I've set out to accomplish. Anyway, I'm gonna go. People need to make the time to waste time. It makes sense, though. I can't remember what I was gonna rant about. But people buy name brands. Seeya. Think about it. Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. But untill that day, the concept of the smoke detector is useless. Only if I had multiple personalities. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Not only that, but there are an infinite number of different kinds of intelligent life. In you, I found love, a friend, a companion, a mother, a role model, a perfect human, in short, you're my total package. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. It even SOUNDS weird. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. I wonder if I've made the world record? And secret? Those are the best kind. Which means that there are an infinite number of worlds with humanoid life. If that happens, then no one will read this. They add random minerals to our water to make it taste better, and then advertise it as pure! I mean, I've been doing this much, much longer than the other person. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. My dad. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. That's why it MUST be EVIL! Did you understand that? HOLY WAX! THANKS FOR COMING! She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head. Goodbye! It sucked. Hi, I'm back. The whole thing. Just like thos so called "diet supplements" that give you a "free" sample because they know that once you try it, you'll like it so much you'll spend oodles of cash on it. YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL!!! I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. It says that in black ander lime green! I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! I salute those people. I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. You knowI enjoy having these conversations with you. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Geee.that is comforting. Yep that's right. You figure that one of those 100 people would actually have a coherent phrase. owfrjtnrgkzcbvwruogjlvdajngwruojlnvdakjefnlvk aij hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, jfeoisbhoaubhfvionadkfvbskjvb efnvkjnbsxuhbgv hiiiii, this has one word in it first person to see the gets $100 cash app njhcewhfb whebfuewhfjwenifbewiubfiebfebwqjfbwejnfewihfiuhweniufjeuirhfiuerfburiebfiewbjfkwefqhcewfhepwuhfiuwerfuiwqerpifjbruegferiuhfiuerwhfuiifewiviiuhuihrgiobguhtrbiuhtreiubhriurhviuwrhiuvht4rnrijpewvpiefhwnovjibrfpierfnhvipuerbfviuphrwipjvnwefkjvnpwiefv pirfnhpiejpoerwpivherwpoivhwepriuvipr evijnreijnrojvwejrfvoijerreiobfr iuvfrvjo frvjrweoijbvweiojrfoiwervicebrwouvbwerouvu perivoerijvoiuwerbviouweroiuberouvberfoefubvouiwriuebrouweuberwiuvherivyherwiubvewiurobviuwervuwervouwrewoiuvherwiuoeHIewijvhferiucbuhewjdhfewiufdhiu3riuheriufheriuhfiuerhfiuhwreiufhirwhiufhwiurhfiuhreiuhfiuheriwfhriehfiuerwhufihreuifheirhfiuwheruifherwoiuwfheruhwifhreiuhwoiuhfuerhfhwruifhriuehfueri. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. But the secret doesn't exist so they are stupid. Waithowhow can I BE logic? All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. It hurt. I have very low expectations of my site. Anyway, I better go or the quality of this will go down in that evil downward spiral thing I discussed a few months back. Any miniute now. You got me started. The number of licks, I mean. And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" while others are thinking "Who's John F. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. Not only does Faulkners deep affiliation with his characters inner lives elevate his portraits far above the level of local color or regionalist curiosity, but it animates his sentences, makes them constantly move and breathe. Sofor the first time in about 5 yearsI wore a dressand something that was complelty white. Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. But, act now, or it will be too late, and you will be one of the losers that we'll be laughing at, assuming we have air to laugh with. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. Definitly. Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. And the preceding generations became brain-washed (possibly through subliminal messages in sun-tan lotion commercials) to believe tans were expected. And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! I'd rather drink the "impure" tap water where at least I KNOW that someone, somewhere tested it. If this was quality work, I'd publish it and make a fortune. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. She was extremly upset. (There's probably drugs in it). I'm back! Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. Ain't it nifty? This sentence is the longest. GRRR!! I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! It sucked. When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. Maybe I'd seen it before, and that's where I got the idea. Hits all right. Then, when it's in German, or whatever, translate it back to English. What does it sound like? I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! He acted like he was really being tortured and stuff. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. But true. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. I don't care if I have to ride the bus home if I stop work. GrrrrI had a nifty rant all planned out in my head. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. You wanna play that way. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! Needless to say, we ignored her. The best way to be brief is to quit now. Gotta gothe Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. Please read our disclosure for more info. Emma has contributed to various art and culture publications, with an aim to promote and share the work of inspiring modern creatives. AND THAT IS WHY TOASTER PASTRIES WILL BURST INTO FLAMES IF YOU DON'T KEEP AN EYE ON THEM! Okay. As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics.
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